Sunday, August 31, 2008


One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom.
The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.
The teacher asked a little boy:
TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later)
Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he
isn't there. He doesn't exist.A little girl spoke up and wanted to
ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little
girl asked the boy:
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss (getting tired of the questions by this time).
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yesss
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today
in school, she must not have one!

Thursday, August 28, 2008


Amazing Answers!!!...hahaha!!!
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble
with one ofher students.
The teacher asked, "Boy, what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade! .
My sister is inthe third-grade and I'm smarter than she is!
I think I should be in thethird-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office.
While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
theprincipal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam
he wouldgive the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed.Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreedto take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"Boy: "9″.Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36″.And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third-gradershould know. The principal looks at
Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boycan go to the third-grade.
"Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own
questions.Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have
only two of?Boy, after a moment "Legs."Ms. Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"Boy: "Pockets."Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?Boy: Coconut Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft andsticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he couldstop the answer, Boy was taking charge.Boy: Bubblegum Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sittingdown and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer…Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.Boy: Tent. Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you'rebored. The best man always has me first. The Principal waslooking restless, a bit tense and took one large peg of Vodka. Boy: Wedding Ring. Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When youblow me, you feel good. Boy: Nose. Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with aquiver. Boy: Arrow. Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lotof heat and excitement? Boy: Firetruck. Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't getit u have to use your hand.Boy: Fork.
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it is longer on some menthan on others, the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wifeafter they're married?
Boy: SURNAME. Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lotsof veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ? Boy: HEART. The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,"Send this Boy to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

Thursday, July 31, 2008


This will sound unbelievable, but your mobile phone
can save your life or nerves in some situations.

How you can call anywhere in the world, ambulance or police?

The unique number for extreme situations which you can call
from your mobile phone anywhere in the world is 112.
When you have an extreme situation and you're out of signal
of your mobile operetor, just call 112 and your phone will seek
any posible conection and operating sistem who provide the
net conections in area you are in that moment.
Then you will see on your display the numbers of emergency
Interesting, number 112 you can call even if your mobile
keyboard is locked.

Be good, be nice, be well!

Saturday, July 26, 2008


The only way to redeem yourself is to fight for me. You will be
my fighter tonight. Max smiled.”Do you know who I work for?”
”No, tell me!” ” I work for Ice.” Ice is the main narko-boss in
town, brutal in his command. To rebuke with T-Bag is the
same as to rebuke with Ice. ”But I don't fight for money.”
” Then fight for your life and life of your friend!”On T- Bag' s
blink two of his colossus guards draged Luigi out. Max
become anxious. ”Wait, where are you draging him?”
”Just to be shure you'll get the job done.”Luigi was closed in car,
parked near by. ”I'll put big money on your fight,Ice's money.”
”You know what will happen if you loose, so I strongly
recommende to win or otherwise…” After that everythig
happend rappidly and Max was standing in the midle of that
crowd which was making a some kind of ring. Infront of him a
mad man was standing and reaping his T-shirt of. Max felt like
he is coming out from a nightmare,mixed with strong smell of
perfumes,smoke of cigars,swet and blod from last fights, blinded
from car lights which highlight the ring. Crowd calling one name.
Dredge!Dredge!Dredge! ”Maybe it's his name.”:Max was tought.
Dredge comes to Max with frightful roar. Max start to avoid him
and in one moment feel someone pushing him to Dredge.
It was someone from the crowd, because Max was stick in them
when he was retreating from Dredges attack. So Max was now
rushing on Dredge against his will and get strong punch to his
mouth with Dredges knee. He was tumble on the floor.
He felt strong pain in his jaw. He felt a broken tooth. Dredge was
jelling with a crowd with his arms in the air like he is alredy won
this fight. Max spit his broken tooth and stand up. Dredge attacks
him again like a mad man. Max retreat again but this time one
step back and then in the moment when it was suposed to stick
with a crowd, he step one step aside. Dredge swings with his legg
and knock-out some guy who was probably whant to push Max
back on Dredge and rise with his head in ring after Maxes
retreating aside. The guy has fall like dead. Crowd starts even
more with their jelling and cheering. It was mad situation.
Dredge attacks Max again and swing with his legg. Max bow and
retreat again. Dredge look at Max and smile to him.
At the corner of eye, Max looked beautiful girl and suddenly
felt stronger than before. Dredge came on to Max again.
They started hard fight, jet Max was ready for it and with his
strong punch he broked Dredge legg and knocked him down.
As Max was standing ower Dredge, Dredge gave him sing that
fight was ower for him and Max won.

Thursday, July 24, 2008


One day English Queen comes to visit Bush and when she
saw like what is he, she said:
QUEEN: "If you've my husband, I'll be put the poisnon in
your drink!"
BUSH: " And if you've my wife, I'll be drink it!"

Sunday, July 20, 2008


If you whant to know how to save your money on
electrical energy click here.


One day in Freds classroom come young beautiful female
teacher as a substitution. It was summer and she was easy
dressed. She uprise her right arm and starts to write on the
board with chalk.
FRED:"Look guys, she shawed her right armpit!"
She turns to Fred.
TEACHER:"Fred, take your bag, I don't whant to see you in
school for a week!"
After one week Fred come back to school. Teacher start to
teach ,uprise her left arm to show something on the board.
FRED:"Look guys, she is shawed under left armpit also!"
TEACHER:"Fred, take your bag and don't come to school
for a month!"
Fred take his bag and leave class. After one month Fred come
to school. Teacher start to write on board with chalk. In one
moment chalk brakes and young teacher bend over to pick
up the chalk from the floor. Fred put his bag on shoulder
and when he was leaving the classroom say...
FRED:"Good bye guys, this school year is over for me!"

Saturday, July 19, 2008


Those two big guys drag Luigi and drop him near Max.
"Now it's your turn!":said guy who was standing sideward
and slakes cigar on the sidewalk with his shoe. Max looks at him
and on the first sight he saw a problem. He saw that this guy is
from the other side of law, underground side. Max didn't say
anything, just looked at Luigi, who was coming to consciousness.
"Oooo, my friend, now you drag us in to big trouble.":Luigi
squawks hardly. One of two big guys grab Max by his T-shirt
and yells at him:"Stand up when T-Bag speaks to you!"
Max was standing now and all what was on his mind was, how
to get unharmed in that moment.
"You insulted my Simone badly.":said T-Bag.
Max didn't say anything. "You need to buy-out now, to me and
to my Simone!" Max was just bearley and muse smiling.
"She is not she, she is a he, man!":Luigi squawks to Max again.
In that moment Simone, or better said Simon was on him and
give a beating to Luigi. Max tryed to stop him/she but
he was stoped too by two big guys. Luigi was unconscious again.
"Come on man, this is not funny anymore!":Max was yelling on
T-Bag. "Ohohoooo, where is now your smile?"
"Didn't he got his satisfaction yet!?" Max was angry.
"Didn't we even now!?"
"We will be even when I say so!":T-Bag was mad now.
"You will buy your way out for shure and it will be tonight!"
"OK, just say what i need to do and let's finish this agony!"

What will be now.

Be good, be nice, be well!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

How to make an decoration for your vine bottle?

I was talking about making a basket in earlier posts. This is
something like that, but now you can make your own decoration
for holiday table. Even poorly vine in that basket will looks
very good. You will see pictures and in earlier posts you will
find out how to make this useful decoration for a vine bottle.
You can make this decoration like tube and give vine like a
gift in that nice and useful decoration.

Be good,be nice,be well!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Who would know, that girl like she, is capable to do next.
She didn't comment anything, just suddenly swing with
her leg and all what Max saw after that was pit black.
When he wake up, he heard sounds of a crowd. He smells
stinky air mixed with smoke of cigar, strong perfumes
and sweat. He felt strong pain in his jaw and taste of blood
in his mouth. Max opened his eyes slowly and saw...

What was Max saw? VOTE !
You decide where this story going now!

Monday, July 7, 2008


Help I need somebody! Help not just anybody! I need somebody,
heeelp me! I sang that song for all night long, just could not sleep.
And you know why?
Because the bells on the church near by my vacation apartment
were kept me awake every 15 minutes. First is one ring, then two,
after that three, and then sweet full hour-10 times. After another
full hour, eleven times. You don't need a clock here!
Twelve times!!! OH MY GOD!!! ALL NIGHT LONG!
When do I get to sleep? On the beach I guess. Because in the
break of church bells, here comes a night bird. Did you know that
she make two types of sounds. One every 4 seconds, and second
every 3 second.


Just ask your agent in travel agency if there is a church near by
your future vacation apartment. If it is, don't go there!
Or if it's there maybe a big nice tree. If you need a peace, go to
lighthouse and spend your vacation there.
There you go.
Be good,be nice,be well!

Saturday, July 5, 2008




Read this!
It's the sequel from the book chapter

about Luigi and Max.

When I was came down to the bar,Luigi was still smiling.
„Heey!“:he wave me by hand.
„My dearest friend,my brother!“:he was taping me on my
shoulder.“What's up Luigi?“„Wait, wait till we make an order.“
„You are to much excited,what's going on?“
„Waaait for a moment.“:said Luigi.
„Look, I know you well and I know when you need something!“
.In that moment beautiful girl was interrupt our argument.
Man, what a beauty! We were watching at her like she is an
angel.Beautiful body, big tits,long legs, perfect buttocks and
face…,her face really looks like she is an angel. That girl is pure
pleasure, pure SEX.
„What is about that nimble argument, guys?“:she ask us.
„Haaaa!“:I was surprised with her appearance.
„What would you like to drink?“:she said. Aaaaa, that is all
about Luigi happiness! She is new waitress in our bar. He was
horny. „We discus about you if you want to know.“ I was
prepared for a good start and try to seduce her immediately,
on the first ball. In Luigi eyes was a jealousy. Because I was
trying to seduce her and he saw her first.
„About meee!?“:she starts to giggle. Maan, we were in some
kind of shock. Just a second before i was prepared to stand up
and introduce myself to her, to take her hand and gently, sexy
squeeze. But I was still sitting glued for that chair. She didn't
had half of her teeth and the other half was black. Or something
like that, but it was…, HUH, what a site! Luigi was still in shock,
so was I. „What did you say about me?“:she asked very serious.
Now, I'm in trouble. But my IQ – 159 helps me and provide me
a quick solution in any situation. If I say something wrong we
will be in trouble.„You will be mad at me if i say.“ Maybe I'll
must start looking for another good bar after i say what is on
my mind wright now.„No, I wont!“:she said very seriously
and nervous, waiting for my wrong move. Luigi is still in stade
of shock.„Well, what are you waiting now, just say it!“
She begins to be pissed and probably assume what I'm
thinking wright now.

What should Max say to her? VOTE !
You decide where this story will go now!

Friday, July 4, 2008


How to make a multifunctional basket?
Why to spend your money on expensive little baskets wich
you need for example a newspapers. Yes they look pretty,
but you can make your own basket for a cheap which also can
look pretty like those from the store, expensive. All what you
need is a little free time and a good will. Take one round
wooden table, dimensions wich you need. You will need and
wooden sticks like on the picture, also you need thin wooden
straps like on the picture, glue for wood and auger. Drill
small holes around, for stiks, then put glue in and sticks in to
them. Now you can drink your beer or juice or coffee for a
half hour. Did you finished with a drink? OK! Now take
your straps and plait like on the picture. On each conjunction
put little glue for better fixation of straps and for a longevity
of the basket.Whait for glue to blot and basket is ready for
use. You can paint your basket with a color for wood and
lacquer it. Basket will look like one from the store and
expensive. Now there are many variations. You can make
basket for keys or other nothingness, or for fruit, or for a
bread on the Sunday lunch table, or for a newspapers.
You will chose that. With lenght of sticks you treat purpose
of your basket.
I hope that was useful for you.
Be good,be nice,be well!

Thursday, July 3, 2008


Day was started easely, but the night was something diferent.
Nothing from the morning didn't indicate the night with so
many happenings. After the late dinner I was called by my
dear friend Luigi, to go out for a little quick drink."Hey, Max,
would you come out for a little quick drink with me?":he
sounds happy. "Yes, but really must be a quick!"
"What, what is happening that you don't have a little time for
me?" "I have, but like I told you, it must be quick." "OK, just
come down to the bar!" He was surprisingly happy now, for my
oppinion. "OK, see you in a minute!" On my mind, now,
constantly was buzzer one question:"What can make him
that kind of happy?"

Now it is your turn to decide what make him happy.
You decide how story will continue. Give a vote.
Alabama Jones Act Injuries
Alabama Jones Act Injuries


How to make a table soccer/european football field ?

This is game made by my father ,year 1976.
We play that game for many years and the game is still one
of the best in long winter nights.
First what you need is a table board. Then you need a green
scarft or some common canvas. You also need 22 tacks,(wich
must be decapitated) for players and 10 for goalposts, 5 for
each. You need 4 batten for corse fences. Goalpost can be
made with copper wire. You can clearly see the arrangement
of players(tacks) on the field. Buttens must be attached for
table board.
Field size is 50 cm.
You also need two wooden sticks like I draw for you and one
white plastic ball.
Game starts from center of the field. Players play alternate
once at the time and like that to the wictory. If the ball falls
out of the field, other player shot the penalty.
First who score six goals is the Winner.
Have a good and funny time with my father game.

Be good, be nice, be well!


How to make the best gravy for Lasagna?

Ingredients for red gravy:

250 g mince steer meat
tomato juice
2 dl red vine

Ingredients for white gravy:

flour - 4 spoon
5 dl milk
100 g parmesane
garlic - one

Insturctions for red gravy:

Finely cut onion and stew it on light fire. When onion mellows
put mince meet in. Mix it together until the water from meet
evaporate. After that put 2 dl red vine in to it. After five minutes
when alcohol also evaporate, put 3 dl tomato juice in, salt, pepper
and parsley. Wait for about ten minutes and put one small spoon
of origano. Now the red gravy is finished.

Insturctions for white gravy:

Put the oil in to the pot and add a 4 big spoon of flour.
Now you need to mix that and put on light fire. While
the flour start to fry add a ounce mil nutmeg and sliced garlic.
Mix that and when you start to smell aroma of spices, slightly
pour milk in to it and slow mix that ingredients together.
Add salt and pepper optional. When gravy boil remove it from
the fire and mix parmesane with it. Whait for about five minutes
that the parmesane melts in it.
Your white gravy is finished.

Bon apetite!

If you need more just ask.
Be good, be nice, be well!


How to teach your kid to swim easier then ever?

You are sick of his/her screaming when they are near to
the water and you are close to them. They are afraid
of you and what you will do to them. There is the water
to, and their fear. Here what you need to do.
Send them to a swiming school and let them to professionals.
Just ask for more advice.
Be good, be nice, be well!


How to play a bottleball game?

Try this game and you will love it for the rest of your life.
This is summer outdoor game and can be played like a
tournament. With more people, funn is better. You can
play it when dear people come to visit you and you need
to amuse them. This game can play youth and oldtimers.
Don't play that inside your home, but if you whant it is
not forbiden. What you need for playing is one ball and two
bottles filled with water. Place your bottle about five-six
meters away from each other. Stand behind your bottle and
take the ball. Try to hit opponent bottle. If you succeed , then
he must run to catch a ball and run back to stop you with a
touch. Your task is to take his bottle and pour out much water
you can while he catching ball. Try to pour water on the other
while they are watching you. Just for a funn. If you succeed
pour all water out of bottle you are the winner. Otherwise if
your opponent succeed to catch the ball and come to you
before you pour water out, he is on the move.
This is the best funn in summer time.
If you need some other funny games just ask.
Be good, be nice, be well!


This is my work in the park and it's growing.
This is my second try and unfnished for now.

This is my first painting. Believe it or not.

How to make an oil painting?

The most people think that the painting is hard and impossible for
them,for you exactly. But that is not true. Yes you hear good my
words. That is simply not true. You can paint like some skilful
painter in short time. Why I'm shure in that? Beacuse, painting is
nothing you didn't see yet ,or didn't try like child or in older age,
painting your kids or grand-kids. For example, I was very bored
and one day decide to make a painting, to be a paintor. My friends
was laughed at me,so don't tell any one before painting isn't
finished.This is first advice, just don't tell, beacuse they'll kill
your will. Good! Now go to store wich is specialized and have all
you need in one place. They are more cheap also, then other store
who are notspecialized for painting.Buy a canvas little dimensions
beacuse you will easily make your first paint on smaller surface.
Now you need to buy diferent tipe of brushes. Ask salesman about
that, he will help you. He'll help you about oil colors to. Just ask
him and start friendly conversation with him. He'll give you some
good advice, that is for shure. If is he or a she you can make a
good friendship and mybe more, who knows. Ha,ha,ha!By also
a terpentine for easier bank of colors on canvas.That is all you
need,and of course you will need a peace and open mind, some
good music and you can start to paint.Very important is-
prepare canvas with terpentine. Smear canvas with a thin
dose of terpentine for easier paint and good spread of colors.
Now, you can try to make anything, but the best way is to paint
something you draw before for a about hundred times in your
free or bored time. Know that, it is not important what that is,
it will be good for shure.Graffiti paintors draw their paintings
for a whole life on the paper, before they finished on the wall.
So they practice before on paper. You for shure have something
like that, some drawing you draw all the time. Paint that.
Most paintors have a problem with a stile.
Good paintor have his own stile and that makes him special and
good. It is not essential what it is. What is essential is your stile.
Don't change something on painting if you not shure, beacuse
the first bank of color probably is the best.
If you have some more questions, just ask me.
Be good, be nice, be well!


How to make a mouse trap?
If you whant to make a mouse trap you need to have a house and
of course a mouse. Ha,ha!You will need a couple things wich you
can find in your home. First take a one 2 liter plastic bottle
of some juice(empty of course). Then take a weight, saw or sharp
knife, tin rope, needle and piece of bacon. You must be carefull
that mouse don't see what you prepar for him. He is a clever
little beast. You need to act very good otherwise the mouse will
atack you suddenly just to show you who is the boss. So act
normaly like you do everyday things. Now when you shure that
mouse is not around, take the stuff and get to work. First you
need to cut a bottle about ten centimeters from the peak. Now
take needle and pierce bottle to make a two little hole, just
enough for rope pass thru. Take the rope and tack to the bottle.
Now you have something like a little bucket. Rope must be aobut
half meter long now. Be aware of mouse presents and stil act like
you don't do nothing interesting, otherwise the trap will not
succeed.Take a weight and attach rope and bottle with it to the
table. You need bacon for decoy and first rouge it to the surface
before you put bacon in to the bottle. Now you must put the
bottle on the board of table like seesaw, half on table and half
to be in air and just wait to fall down when mouse come in for
delicious bite. Now go to sleep and still act normaly,like you're
really tired. in the morning you will see your beaste mouse in
agony and trying to jump out of the trap, but that's not gonna
happend beacuse bottle is to long and slipery. This is the most
funny way to take a trip to adventure. It is cheap and brings you
much funn. Just one thing you need is bucket full of wather to
put mouse into and watch him how he swim his circles.Ha,ha,haaa!
Post me your coment if you succeed.
If you need more advice about anything, just ask.
100% works!
Be good, be nice, be well!